2024 was largely a great year for music. But as always, there were some flops among the bops.
There were
quite a few cultural low points in 2024: the new Joker sequel, the Jake Paul vs Mike Tyson fight and the strange meteoric rise of Hawk Tuah girl. And the music
industry had its fair share of shite too. In fact, quite a few high-profile
artists delivered duds (including Drake and Nicki Minaj, who are both no
stranger to my worst songs of the year lists). Below are some of the horrible
hits that I thought were worthy of my annual roundup.
It’s worth
noting that this is the 10th anniversary of this segment. Feel free
to check out my worst songs of 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021,
2022, and 2023.
10. ‘Woman’s
World’ – Katy Perry
We start with
this disappointing comeback single from Katy Perry. The promo photos suggested that she was about to enter
her Charli-XCX-style hyperpop era, which would have been rad. But instead, we
got ‘Woman’s World’ – which sounds like 2011-era Lady Gaga. It’s a dated,
shallow attempt at a feminist pop anthem, accompanied by a video of Katy seductively
shoving a petrol pump in her butt (last time I tried that, I got arrested!).
9. ‘Thick
of It’ – KSI ft. Trippie Redd
‘I don’t
know nothing about no ice, I’m just cold’. I can only assume KSI doesn’t
own a freezer, because why the hell does he not know what ice is? Dumb chorus
aside, this song makes this list largely because of how generic it is. It’s so generic,
that I have absolutely nothing else to say about it.
8. ‘Beautiful
Things’ - Benson Boone
This song has
been inescapable this year. It starts off as a tolerably dull
Lewis-Capaldi-style ballad. But then Benson Boone bombards us with the most obnoxiously
over-sung chorus ever conceived. I have to change radio station every time it
comes on. Unfortunately, my 7 year old loves this song. I have failed as a
parent.
7. ‘Whatever’
– Kygo & Ava Max
When are pop
stars going to stop lazily stealing choruses from 90s hits? I was certain every
song had been plundered by now. But this
soulless EDM interpolation of Shakira’s ‘Whenever, Wherever’ proved me wrong.
6. ‘Karma’
– Jojo Siwa
‘I was a
bad girl’. Ex-Nickelodeon-child-star Jojo Siwa used to wear a pink dress
and sell glittery bows to Walmart. And now she’s dressing up like Syndrome from
The Incredibles and claiming she’s the baddest slut around. It’s a pretty
awkward rebrand (although not the worst rebrand of 2024).
5. ‘Awful
Dreams’ – Slash ft. Iggy Pop
Iggy’s got
that old man wobble in his voice and it has only got more pronounced over the
years. Now it’s got to the point that it’s unlistenable. I’m particularly
perplexed as to what’s happening at 4:55. Are those vocals? A death rattle??
4. ‘I Luv
It’ – Camila Cabello
‘ILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEIT…’
The chorus on this Camila Cabello single is impressively annoying. And things
only get worse once Carti appears. This is his most garbled low-effort verse to
date. I doubt he moved his mouth once while delivering this verse. Kinda a
shame, because the beat slaps.
3. ‘Facts’
– Tom MacDonald ft. Ben Shapiro
Despite claiming
‘rap isn’t real music’ a few years ago, political commentator Ben Shapiro dropped
a rap song this year. ‘Facts’ sees him teaming up with conservative edgelord
rapper Tom MacDonald. The whole song plays out like an obnoxious Twitter rant
and Shapiro sounds as gawky as you’d expect (the ‘dawg, it’s a yarmulke,
homie, no cap’ line is witty though, I’ll give him that).
2. ‘Wah
Gwan Delilah’ – Snowd4y ft. Drake
After getting
humiliated by Kendrick in a rap battle earlier this year, Drake decided to voluntarily
humiliate himself further by releasing this single ‘Wah Gwan Delilah’. I am
quite certain that this is supposed to be a parody rather than a sincere cover
of The Plain White Tees’ ‘Hey There Delilah’. The problem is that it isn’t very
funny – just very confusing. Who is Snowd4y? What’s up with the annoying baby voice?
And what just happened at the 2:50 mark???
1. ‘Big
Foot’ – Nicki Minaj
2024’s Music
Related Junk Worst Track Of The Year award goes to ‘Big Foot’ – quite possibly
the strangest diss track every recorded. In an attempt to show ‘one flow hoe’
Megan Thee Stallion that her flow is boring, Nicki proceeds to deliver the
track in the most cartoonish delivery possible. It ends with her going off on a
bizarre, whispered monologue that sounds more like an ASMR podcast than a diss track.
The song is so cuckoo that not even the Barbz have been defending it. So yeah, a big
foot-in-mouth moment for Nicki.