I’ve always been a huge James Bond fan. With the new Bond movie No Time To Die out in cinemas, I thought I’d take on the challenge of ranking every Bond theme ever made. All 24 of them.
24? But haven’t there been 25 Bond movies? Yes, but
Dr. No, the first Bond film, technically never had a unique theme song dedicated to it – it
simply contained the signature ‘James Bond theme’, which appears in all the
movies, and therefore doesn't count.
I’ve also left 'Never Say Never Again' off
this list because that wasn’t an ‘official’ Bond movie. I can’t include that here,
because that would start a riot. The diehard Bond fanatics would be at my door
with pitchforks yelling ‘tHaT’s NoT cAnOn!!!’ while ripping me limb from limb.
Ranking these theme songs took a lot longer than I expected. I've spent the last few weeks listening and relistening to all 24 songs. Below is my final rankings. There are
lots of embedded Youtube videos here so I apologise if this post takes 10 years
to load.
24. ‘Die Another Day’ – Madonna
With its invisible cars and satellite laserbeams, Die
Another Day may well be the daftest Bond movie of them all – and it’s got a
fittingly daft theme song. Why does Madonna sound like a robot? And what is
going on with the lyrics: ‘Sigmund Freud, analyse this!’. It’s hideous.
23. ‘For Your Eyes Only’ – Sheena Easton
This is music for a romantic kiss scene on a beach.
Far too soppy for a Bond movie.
22. ‘All Time High’ – Rita Coolidge (from Octopussy)
This sounds a bit more like a Bond Theme. It’s got a
soaring chorus with big strings. The vocals are a bit forgettable and the sax
sounds like something from a porno. But otherwise not bad. I don’t blame them
for not working the title ‘Octopussy’ into the song.
21. ‘The Man With The Golden Gun’ – Lulu
I quite like the energy of this song, even if the innuendos
are a bit heavy-handed: ‘who will he bang/ we will see!’. Apparently,
Alice Cooper was originally asked to sing the theme tune (would that have
turned out better, or more disastrous?).
20. ‘Nobody Does It Better’ – Carly Simon (from The
Spy Who Loved Me)
This smashing power ballad from Carly Simon is the
first song not to be titled after the movie (although she does manage to
skilfully work the title into the lyrics). Perhaps its biggest drawback is that
it doesn’t really sound like a Bond theme at all.
19. ‘You Know My Name’ – Chris Cornell (from Casino
Royale)
In order to match the gritty performance of Daniel
Craig, the Bond franchise hired Chris Cornell to deliver this grittier
rock-flavoured score. I love Chris Cornell, but I feel like this track lacks
dynamics. Still a million times better than its predecessor ‘Die Another Day’.
18. ‘The World Is Not Enough’ – Garbage
Garbage? WHO??? I totally forgot this one existed. The
Scottish rock group do a great job of throwing in all the essential Bond theme ingredients
including chromatic string melodies and smoky vocals. The 90s spy thriller
electronica cheapens it slightly.
17. ‘No Time To Die’ – Billie Eilish
‘I’M THE BONNNND GUY!’ *Loopy synth from ‘Bad Guy’
starts playing*. That’s honestly what I expected when I heard Billie Eilish was
singing the new Bond theme, but the end product is thankfully a lot more
tasteful. The instrumentation’s a bit generic, but Billie’s suspenseful whispered
vocals are phenomenal.
16. ‘The Writing’s On The Wall’ – Sam Smith (from Spectre)
One of the few Sam Smith songs that isn’t intolerable.
In fact, it’s actually quite decent. I’d even go as far as to say this shit
slaps. The way it shifts from loud strings and belting vocals to quiet pianos
and delicate falsettos is masterful. Okay, I’m hyping it up a bit too much now.
It’s alright.
15. ‘The Living Daylights’ – A-ha
This one from A-ha is pretty nuts. It’s got orchestral
strings and horns, sparkly synths and even some saxophone towards the end. It
loses points for the silly chorus: ‘Whoa-oo-oo-ah, the living daylights!!!’.
They didn’t even try to craftily work the title in there, did they?
14. ‘Another Way To Die’ – Jack White & Alicia
Keys (from Quantum of Solace)
I just listened to this for the first time in years.
Despite featuring one of the most bizarre vocal pairings of all time, it’s a
badass Bond theme. Jack White and Alicia Keys make a fierce combo – they both
give mean vocal performances, and the fuzzy guitars and stabbing pianos sound
brilliant together. I’ve already completely forgotten the chorus, but otherwise
it’s fantastic.
13. ‘A View To A Kill’ – Duran Duran
I was convinced Duran Duran’s groovy synthpop tune
was going to be in the top 10, but after listening back to it, I’ve realised those
orchestra hits haven’t aged very well. They’re also utterly relentless. It’s
like BAM! BABAM! all the way through the song. It is the most danceable Bond theme though.
12. ‘Thunderball’ – Tom Jones
Of all the Connery-era Bond themes this is probably
the least memorable. But the blaring horns and Tom Jones’ charismatic delivery
of ‘and it strikes/ like thuuunderbaaaall!’ still make for thrilling,
powerful stuff. Fun trivial fact: Johnny Cash was almost chosen to score this film.
11. ‘Moonraker’ – Shirley Bassey
Shirley Bassey defined the sound of the 007 movies.
This is her most subdued performance of the three movies she helped score, but
it still blows most of the other songs on this list out of the water: the
strings are gorgeous and the whole song has a tastefully ‘spacey’ feel. If this
was made in the 80s, you just know they’d have doused it in sci-fi synthesizers.
10. ‘A License To Kill’ – Gladys
Knight
‘A License To Kill’ has everything you could want
from a bombastic 80s power ballad. Reverb-slathered snare drums. A gargantuan
chorus complete with backing vocal harmonies. Even a key change at the end. At
the same time, it feels unmistakably like a Bond Theme with those opening chord
blasts (even if they do sound a lot like the opening chords to ‘Goldfinger’).
9. ‘Goldeneye’ – Tina Turner
After a 6 year break, the Bond Franchise returned with Goldeneye,
accompanied by this explosive soundtrack performed by powerhouse vocalist Tina
Turner and written by Bono and the Edge. You could argue that the blaring synth
brass sounds a bit tacky now, however the sass and energy of Tina’s vocals make
up for it.
8. ‘From Russia With Love’ – Matt Monro
This one’s an oldie. From Russia With Love was the second Bond movie and the
first to have its own sung theme (the first to have a title sequence with dancing naked ladies). Matt Monro’s Sinatra-like voice and carefully
measured delivery keeps you hanging onto each note. I don’t think I realised
just how super this song was until I went back and listened to it.
7. ‘Tomorrow Never Dies’ – Sheryl Crow
This is the underrated gem of the Bond series. Sheryl Crow's voice is both fragile and incredibly powerful. Just
listen to that belter of a chorus! I can’t remember a single scene from the
movie, but goddamn, that chorus. Did I mention how good the chorus is?
6. ‘Skyfall’ – Adele
Aside from maybe Gladys Knight, Adele is the only
singer who has been able to recapture the suaveness of Shirley Bassey. It’s easily
the best Bond theme to be released in the last 40 years. I love how the lyrics in the chorus contrast the melody – as she sings ‘let the sky fall’ the melody ascends
and yet as she sings ‘we will stand tall’ her voice dips slightly. It’s
perfectly designed to put you on edge.
5. ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ – Shirley Bassey
From the sparkly opening instrumentation
to the roared closing delivery of ‘foreeeveeeer!’, every part of this track is
so well crafted. Shirley Bassey’s voice is able to convey so many emotions as
she sings about rejecting men in favour of a love of diamonds – at first she sounds confident and sincere, but as the song continues a sense of loneliness and despair becomes apparent. The
most amazing part about this song is that it’s not even Shirley Bassey’s best
Bond theme.
4. ‘On Her Majesty’s Secret Service’ – John Barry
OHMSS is the film everyone forgets about. It was the only
movie to star George Lazenby as 007 and is the only movie to feature an
instrumental theme. Despite the lack of vocals, it still manages to be a banger. It kicks off with some orchestral stabs and then settles into its
iconic descending four note ostinato from which it builds and builds into an
epic climax.
3. ‘Live and Let Die’ – Paul McCartney & The Wings
‘Live and Let Die’ is an absolute rollercoaster. On first listen, you
assume it’s just going to be a soft piano ballad, but then as
Paul repeats the words ‘Live and Let Die’ it shifts into an intense racing
instrumental section made up of rock guitar and menacing
dissonant orchestral strings. And then, if that wasn’t batshit insane enough, it transitions
into a reggae section. ALL WITHIN THE FIRST MINUTE AND A HALF. It’s the Bohemian Rhapsody of Bond themes. It’s
like drinking 4 coffees in a row. It makes me want to scale a building or get
into a car chase.
2. ‘You Only Live Twice’ – Nancy Sinatra
Nancy Sinatra’s ‘You Only Live Twice’ paved the way
for a new breed of Bond Theme, switching out the loud horns and belting vocals
for soaring strings and soft vulnerable crooning. It’s one of the few Bond
themes that gives me shivers. Those strings are insanely beautiful. I also love
the haunting chord progression in the verse, the squeaky electric guitar and the
splashes of oriental keys. And then there’s Nancy Sinatra’s precise vocal performance which is both seductive and foreboding like a siren luring sailors to their death.
1. ‘Goldfinger’ – Shirley Bassey
This track almost never made it into the film. Producer Harry Saltzman hated it, claiming ‘that’s the worst *** song I’ve ever heard’. Fortunately, there wasn’t enough time to replace the song, and so Saltzman
reluctantly agreed to keep it in. The result is the most quintessential Bond
theme ever written. The opening blaring horns are iconic. They’re so loud they
pierce through you. Shirley Bassey gives the best performance of her career, singing
her goddamn lungs out (apparently, during the recording of the song, Shirley Bassey almost passed out because she put so much into it). Her delivery for the
most part feels deliberately mean and cold, but occasionally turns delicate as
when she sings ‘for a golden girl know’s when she kissed her’, giving it
a suspense up until its final roared note. Maybe it is a bit of a predictable
choice for the number one spot, but it deserves it.