Review of "Bangerz" by Miley Cyrus

OMG!!!!!!1!!1! NEW MILEY CYRUS ALBUM *FAINTS* #DIEDANDGONETOHEAVEN. HAVE SPENT THE LAST 2 MONTHS LISTENING TO IT 24/7 AND IT RUUUUUUUULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Review of "Artpop" by Lady Gaga

This meat-dress wearing alien from planet MTV, Lady Gaga, has rapidly mastered the art of making cookie-cut pop for the masses. She knows how to make her music catchy, fun and danceable. I’ve never liked Gaga BECAUSE I’M A FUCKING HIPSTER. Well, to be totally honest, I have had the odd track burrow itself in my brain and induce humming in the shower but no-one needs to know about that little secret (oh …darn it! too late…)

Review of "Government Plates" by Death Grips

Musically, Government Plates is everything you can expect from Death Grips. In other words it’s totally unpredictable and utterly unmusical in every way possible.

Review of "The Marshall Mathers LP 2" by Eminem

Guess who’s back? Back again (Yes, I had to use that opening line...).

Review of "MellowHigh" by MellowHigh

This album’s DOPE. I can’t rate it HIGHly enough. Okay, that’s enough dreadful weed-related puns.

Review of "Melophobia" by Cage the Elephant

This alternative rock act from the tobacco-smoking, bourbon drinking, fried-chicken-famed Bluegrass State of Kentucky have always had the potential to be complete and utter nutters, but they seem to have squandered this potential.